I had an interesting discussion with my 6th grade daughter today. The same one that wants to splice human DNA w bug DNA so that we can grow wings on people and end the fossil fuel crisis and global warming. Today the discussion was about Haley. Haley is another 6th grade girl. Another 6th grade girl that has decided that she isn't so crazy about my urchin which is totally fine with my urchin because she doesn't like Haley.
I have to stop right here and say that I am almost pleased with this discussion in a way because I honestly never expected my little science loving head in the clouds daughter to ever "get" Jr. High girls. I honestly thought she wouldn't even realize when someone was being mean to her - or if she got it she wouldn't have a clue what to do about it. I did say almost pleased...
When my daughter got in the truck and started in about her day and Haley in particular, I asked VERY jokingly if they were fussing over a boy. I was TOTALLY kidding. Like teasing a middle age man with a gut about being the next QB in the super bowl. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Teasing. My daughter didn't laugh. It was one of those awkward moments when you realize that you just told a dirty joke to your Sunday School teacher and she is looking at you in complete astonishment kind of moments. Thankfully when I put myself back together my daughter said "No, not boys yet, but I think we are close to that." Fortunately years of driving in blizzard conditions had honed my driving skills to the point that I didn't drive into oncoming traffic. Turns out that it is just normal pack position struggling and my daughter was giving as good as she got. But then the deadly question came (you know, I get those constantly) "HeyMom, did you ever have problems with girls being mean when you were in school?"
And there I was, instantly... 7th grade Mrs. Wilson's all girls science class. And my problem was Toni. I have no idea why my problem was Toni. I had never been her friend, never run in her circles, never made overtures toward her boyfriend... but there we were in science class together for 48 minutes and it was less than pretty. Mostly it involved gum in my hair. Toni sat at an angle behind me and spent her class throwing little tiny bits of mint flavored gum into my hair. I couldn't retaliate because every time I turned around I was in trouble. I wouldn't go to the teacher because that would just be admitting that I was being treated like a Jr. High girl by another Jr. High girl. Instead I plotted revenge and had one of the nice lunch ladies get the little wads of gum out with peanut butter. I did have my revenge. Several times over. And the biggest of all is probably knowing that I grew up to have a pretty good life, and I understand that the roads have been more rough for Toni.
And then I was struck with what to say. Tell the urchin about the gum (is that just giving her ammunition? making her think I am a whimp?) Tell her about the gum and my later ability to have said Jr. High girl get into enough trouble that she was sent to in school suspension for 3 weeks? For something that really wasn't totally her fault... and look like a champion of mean girl behavior? Tell her that we aren't dealing with my Jr. High mean girl time, but hers? It took me several long minutes before I decided to tell her of the gum. And the peanut butter removal trick. And I went ahead and told her that I plotted my revenge and got it, but didn't give her the details.
And then I had a question. I asked her why she thinks girls are mean to each other. She and I had a long quiet time. Both of lost in the fiery venomous encounters of bodies and brains caught between little girl and grown up woman. Neither of us had a decent answer. My urchin had more questions... "Does it ever stop" and "Should I always fight back?" and the quiet "Did you ever start the troubles?". I answered them as best as I could. But it brought back memories of other girls. Girls that never started it but didn't stand up for themselves. Girls that a few years later would sleep with a boy just to get even with a rival. Girls that really never got over that and became women who still fight Jr. High battles.
I wish I had easier answers for her. We decided the rules should be NEVER pick on someone that won't defend herself - EVER. Defend those that are being picked on and aren't strong enough to stop it. Don't EVER treat your younger sister that way - there are plenty of girls at school to sharpen your claws on. Don't EVER treat your mama that way - my claws are already sharp! Ask for help from a grown up if it gets too ugly - for you or for someone else. Remember that peanut butter gets gum out of your hair.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Why is the Alarm Beeping at dark:30 on SATURDAY?
When I was pregnant I, like so many other mothers, hoped for smart kids. Maybe not Nobel Peace Prize winning smart, but not one that would be licking the windows, either. *If you have a child that is licking windows as a hobby, I am sorry for offending you. Also if you figure out how to get the dried up spit off of the glass, let me know - I have a dog that does it and it leaves the grossest goo behind.* So, imagine my self satisfied joy at having not one but 2 really bright little urchins. Now I wonder if I shouldn't have wished for average intelligence.
First of all, smart kids ask hard questions. For some reason normally during my first cup of coffee. I realized I was totally screwed when, on the way to Catholic School one morning, my then first grader came up with this gem - "HeyMom!?" (side note: while most female parents are known to their children as Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, or some other derivation starting with an M - I am known only as "HeyMom") Back to that car ride to school: "HeyMom!?". HeyMom replies:"Mmm". Urchin: "You know how you aren't supposed to have a baby until you are married?". HeyMom: "Mmm". Urchin "Well don't you think God was setting a REALLY bad example with Mary and Jesus?!?" HeyMom "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...."
And the questions don't get easier. Case in point recently my 6th grader, again on the way to school, decided to enlighten me as to what had kept her up thinking the night before: "HeyMom!?" "Mmm?" "Wouldn't it be amazing if LIGHT could carry LIFE?!?!". HeyMom wondering why she wasn't thinking about the cute boy across the street like a normal 6th grade girl... "Uhhh..." Urchin continues "See, if light could carry life, then as it passed through different areas on it's way to us we would be able to see what kind of life those areas might have - we could see if there was life anywhere near enough to us in space." HeyMom quietly thinking about old sci fi movies with crazy martians bent on destroying mankind... "huh... interesting." But the Urchin couldn't stop there - noooooo there had to be a question... "HeyMom? Why can't light carry life?" HeyMom wishing that she had had just a few more cocktails during pregnancy "I guess it is because light doesn't have mass?" Urchin "NEVER?". HeyMom "Well, I weigh the same in the dark as i do in the light, so I am guessing not ever." Urchin "I don't see how that can be true. If light has no mass then how can the gravitational force of a black hole effect light???" HeyMom "Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh...". Just so I sound like a better mother, I have googled the crap out of that, and apparently our top physicists can't decide on exactly why.
And the other problem with smart kids is that the schools recognize that they are smart and want to sign them up for all kinds of crap that you never even knew exists. Like Science and Math Team. WTH? When I was growing up "team" indicated sweat. Urchin practices 4 hours a week for Math & Science Team meets. OK, fine. Maybe one of those people can explain the light/mass/black hole thing. That would rock. Unfortunately what they DIDN'T tell us is that these meets require a responsible adult deliver the Urchin to the school to get on a bus at 6:00am on Saturday. I dutifully took her to the bus yet again today. Before I let her in the car I made her promise that she wouldn't ask any questions. It seems to work out better that way.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
First of all, smart kids ask hard questions. For some reason normally during my first cup of coffee. I realized I was totally screwed when, on the way to Catholic School one morning, my then first grader came up with this gem - "HeyMom!?" (side note: while most female parents are known to their children as Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, or some other derivation starting with an M - I am known only as "HeyMom") Back to that car ride to school: "HeyMom!?". HeyMom replies:"Mmm". Urchin: "You know how you aren't supposed to have a baby until you are married?". HeyMom: "Mmm". Urchin "Well don't you think God was setting a REALLY bad example with Mary and Jesus?!?" HeyMom "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...."
And the questions don't get easier. Case in point recently my 6th grader, again on the way to school, decided to enlighten me as to what had kept her up thinking the night before: "HeyMom!?" "Mmm?" "Wouldn't it be amazing if LIGHT could carry LIFE?!?!". HeyMom wondering why she wasn't thinking about the cute boy across the street like a normal 6th grade girl... "Uhhh..." Urchin continues "See, if light could carry life, then as it passed through different areas on it's way to us we would be able to see what kind of life those areas might have - we could see if there was life anywhere near enough to us in space." HeyMom quietly thinking about old sci fi movies with crazy martians bent on destroying mankind... "huh... interesting." But the Urchin couldn't stop there - noooooo there had to be a question... "HeyMom? Why can't light carry life?" HeyMom wishing that she had had just a few more cocktails during pregnancy "I guess it is because light doesn't have mass?" Urchin "NEVER?". HeyMom "Well, I weigh the same in the dark as i do in the light, so I am guessing not ever." Urchin "I don't see how that can be true. If light has no mass then how can the gravitational force of a black hole effect light???" HeyMom "Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh...". Just so I sound like a better mother, I have googled the crap out of that, and apparently our top physicists can't decide on exactly why.
And the other problem with smart kids is that the schools recognize that they are smart and want to sign them up for all kinds of crap that you never even knew exists. Like Science and Math Team. WTH? When I was growing up "team" indicated sweat. Urchin practices 4 hours a week for Math & Science Team meets. OK, fine. Maybe one of those people can explain the light/mass/black hole thing. That would rock. Unfortunately what they DIDN'T tell us is that these meets require a responsible adult deliver the Urchin to the school to get on a bus at 6:00am on Saturday. I dutifully took her to the bus yet again today. Before I let her in the car I made her promise that she wouldn't ask any questions. It seems to work out better that way.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Figuring Out What To Do Without
I feel whiny. I know, I shouldn't I have so much more than many people. Things I don't even think about. Running water. Climate Control. Much. But there are days when I just want to go get a real haircut at a real salon and go to the grocery store and buy one of everything that I might consider eating in the next month. So, in case anyone else is in that position, I thought I would tell you some financial shortcuts that I have figured out.
Direct TV or cable is EXPENSIVE. I guess I never gave thought to what we spent to watch cruddy TV shows. On the other hand NetFlix streaming is CHEAP. $7 per month for streaming. You need a half way decent internet connection, and the current seasons aren't on, but there is a decent variety. I have sciency little urchins and we often sit down to watch some great science documentary about anti matter or mythbusters. There is plenty of brain dead entertainment, too - but you could almost write this off as an educational expense. My kids totally don't miss "real" tv at all! This is one of those expenses that I would never have again. Netflix is way more TV than we really even need.
Your kids don't know if they have expensive furniture or not. I know, it is hard to believe. All those hours pouring over Pottery Barn figuring out the perfect bed. Perfect dresser. Book case just the right width to go next to the bed to encourage reading. Searching for the perfect shade of sour apple green for the walls. They don't care. When given free rein in the hovel, both girls instantly went to work attaching vampire posters to their walls and then filling in leftover space with school projects. When I made mention to my 12 year old one day that I was sorry that I wasn't able to bring her furniture with us (mommy guilt) she laughed and said that she likes her Ikea stuff just as much and she LOVES her walls now. I stressed over the green looking "too yellow" or "too bright" when the sun hit in the mornings - I must have tested 20 colors. What she really wanted was a bunch of posters of an anemic vampire, a civil war project on Jefferson Davis, a couple of football mums, chocolate marketing project, and designs for future DNA splicing ideas. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?! If you move your kids without their stuff, offer them a bunk bed or a loft bed. You will be queen. Pottery Barn be damned.
And back to that internet connection, did you know that companies will charge you less for things if you just ask? - well, sometimes. When I called to get internet here at the hovel I was again shocked at the price. I decided to check and see if I had other options in my little area and told the nice sales guy that I was going to check around and see if I could find something cheaper. He said he would talk to his supervisor and when he came back, hot dang I got a deal I could live with! I went ahead and signed up and have been really happy, but the "better" price was $20 a month less than what they quoted me to start. I have been told that the same thing works for cable/satellite and even cell phone bills.
It is nice cutting things that you don't even miss!
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
Direct TV or cable is EXPENSIVE. I guess I never gave thought to what we spent to watch cruddy TV shows. On the other hand NetFlix streaming is CHEAP. $7 per month for streaming. You need a half way decent internet connection, and the current seasons aren't on, but there is a decent variety. I have sciency little urchins and we often sit down to watch some great science documentary about anti matter or mythbusters. There is plenty of brain dead entertainment, too - but you could almost write this off as an educational expense. My kids totally don't miss "real" tv at all! This is one of those expenses that I would never have again. Netflix is way more TV than we really even need.
Your kids don't know if they have expensive furniture or not. I know, it is hard to believe. All those hours pouring over Pottery Barn figuring out the perfect bed. Perfect dresser. Book case just the right width to go next to the bed to encourage reading. Searching for the perfect shade of sour apple green for the walls. They don't care. When given free rein in the hovel, both girls instantly went to work attaching vampire posters to their walls and then filling in leftover space with school projects. When I made mention to my 12 year old one day that I was sorry that I wasn't able to bring her furniture with us (mommy guilt) she laughed and said that she likes her Ikea stuff just as much and she LOVES her walls now. I stressed over the green looking "too yellow" or "too bright" when the sun hit in the mornings - I must have tested 20 colors. What she really wanted was a bunch of posters of an anemic vampire, a civil war project on Jefferson Davis, a couple of football mums, chocolate marketing project, and designs for future DNA splicing ideas. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?! If you move your kids without their stuff, offer them a bunk bed or a loft bed. You will be queen. Pottery Barn be damned.
And back to that internet connection, did you know that companies will charge you less for things if you just ask? - well, sometimes. When I called to get internet here at the hovel I was again shocked at the price. I decided to check and see if I had other options in my little area and told the nice sales guy that I was going to check around and see if I could find something cheaper. He said he would talk to his supervisor and when he came back, hot dang I got a deal I could live with! I went ahead and signed up and have been really happy, but the "better" price was $20 a month less than what they quoted me to start. I have been told that the same thing works for cable/satellite and even cell phone bills.
It is nice cutting things that you don't even miss!
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Christmas Trees Cost HOW MUCH down here?!?!?
A little background. I lived for years in the land of Christmas tree farms. I also had the great joy of living in a 4000 square foot one hundred year old house and not worrying about the electric bill. Christmas in Snow-ville was an event at my house. In Snow-ville I set up 7 artificial trees every year (the full size kind) and trecked out through the snow with Prince Charming and the Urchins (and often a dog) to cut down 2 live trees in the snow. We would buy "cutting edge trees" (bet you didn't even know they have those ) like Canaan Firs. 2 lovely full trees about 7 foot tall of a specialty type cost about $45 each. And they are lovely.
I now live in the land of "cut your own mesquite trees" and crappy Christmas trees sitting dry and wrapped in netting at WalMart for $60 bucks for a dinky one. YUCK! Unfortunately my hovel lacks storage space. And I am in the place where the money spent on a decent artificial tree would be a big part of my Christmas budget. Plus I live with this belief that 3.5 trees from Snow-ville are eventually going to end up here (or 7, maybe Prince Charming will get his groove back on), so buying a nice tree is just out of the question.
So what is a woman to do? My urchins have these IDEAS about Christmas. You know, ideas like "Christmas trees are a necessity". Fortunately the space of our current hovel dictates that we cut it back to 1 Christmas tree. Unfortunately it is not included in the cost of rent. So, after some intense brain wracking and a couple of whipped cream vodka & sprites, it came to me. I am in Texas. We don't grow Canaan Firs. But we do grow other things. After getting rid of all of the options that have thorns, I was pretty much left with tumble weeds. By the third vodka I could see this coming together. I just need some tumble weeds and some lights and the next thing you know I am Martha Freaking Stuart (she is the only crafter that I know as I am completely not crafty).
So the urchins and I managed to find 3 tumble weeds in a tumble weed scarce year. And we took this:
And turned it into this:
All that artsy Christmas goodness and what did it cost me? Less than $12!!! How cool is that? The urchins and I had a great time doing it and they have both promised me that if they ever have kids they are telling their kids about the year that we made a tree out of weeds. The best thing is that the urchins think that we did this because it was fun and different, they have no idea that this was a financial decision. Funny thing is that we never laughed so much putting up any of those Snow-ville trees. If I have grandkids some day, I am making a tumble weed tree with them. I don't expect anyone that reads this to make a tumble weed tree, but it does go to show that a little creativity can replace quite a few dollars.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
I now live in the land of "cut your own mesquite trees" and crappy Christmas trees sitting dry and wrapped in netting at WalMart for $60 bucks for a dinky one. YUCK! Unfortunately my hovel lacks storage space. And I am in the place where the money spent on a decent artificial tree would be a big part of my Christmas budget. Plus I live with this belief that 3.5 trees from Snow-ville are eventually going to end up here (or 7, maybe Prince Charming will get his groove back on), so buying a nice tree is just out of the question.
So what is a woman to do? My urchins have these IDEAS about Christmas. You know, ideas like "Christmas trees are a necessity". Fortunately the space of our current hovel dictates that we cut it back to 1 Christmas tree. Unfortunately it is not included in the cost of rent. So, after some intense brain wracking and a couple of whipped cream vodka & sprites, it came to me. I am in Texas. We don't grow Canaan Firs. But we do grow other things. After getting rid of all of the options that have thorns, I was pretty much left with tumble weeds. By the third vodka I could see this coming together. I just need some tumble weeds and some lights and the next thing you know I am Martha Freaking Stuart (she is the only crafter that I know as I am completely not crafty).
So the urchins and I managed to find 3 tumble weeds in a tumble weed scarce year. And we took this:
And turned it into this:
All that artsy Christmas goodness and what did it cost me? Less than $12!!! How cool is that? The urchins and I had a great time doing it and they have both promised me that if they ever have kids they are telling their kids about the year that we made a tree out of weeds. The best thing is that the urchins think that we did this because it was fun and different, they have no idea that this was a financial decision. Funny thing is that we never laughed so much putting up any of those Snow-ville trees. If I have grandkids some day, I am making a tumble weed tree with them. I don't expect anyone that reads this to make a tumble weed tree, but it does go to show that a little creativity can replace quite a few dollars.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
No Really - How In The Hell Did I End Up Here?
Welcome to what would once have been my worst nightmare. I am 3 things that I was sure I would never be. Single after getting married. Broke after having had so much. And a mom after... well, you know. It all started long ago...
I was a young woman with a plan. I remember it well because I spent a hell of a lot of time getting one together. If I bothered to marry he was going to be a great man. Educated. Handsome. Check. I was going to move far away from my little home town. Check. I was going to be independent. Check. Have a great career. Check. Money. Check. Travel. Check. And never have kids... oh crap. And that is where life started to change.
We all have our stories of WTH, so I won't bother with mine, but suffice to say after many years of living cross country from my home state, it was time to go back. My 2 female urchins finally got old enough to not need quite so much parenting and the prince wasn't feeling the move (or much else). So I loaded up the SUV and headed back to my home state. Right. I said that. I moved cross country with 2 kids and only what fit in the SUV. OK, maybe my planning isn't what it used to be, but obviously that whole "planning" thing wasn't working out so well for me anyway. It's OK- I googled us up a new home town. Right. I moved to a town that I had never visited. But hey- that is how adventures work.
So now the urchins and I are learning a whole new lifestyle. Come on, follow me on my journey. If you are on the same path I will be happy to share what I have learned. Maybe you can help me along. This is all about hitting the ground running.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
I was a young woman with a plan. I remember it well because I spent a hell of a lot of time getting one together. If I bothered to marry he was going to be a great man. Educated. Handsome. Check. I was going to move far away from my little home town. Check. I was going to be independent. Check. Have a great career. Check. Money. Check. Travel. Check. And never have kids... oh crap. And that is where life started to change.
We all have our stories of WTH, so I won't bother with mine, but suffice to say after many years of living cross country from my home state, it was time to go back. My 2 female urchins finally got old enough to not need quite so much parenting and the prince wasn't feeling the move (or much else). So I loaded up the SUV and headed back to my home state. Right. I said that. I moved cross country with 2 kids and only what fit in the SUV. OK, maybe my planning isn't what it used to be, but obviously that whole "planning" thing wasn't working out so well for me anyway. It's OK- I googled us up a new home town. Right. I moved to a town that I had never visited. But hey- that is how adventures work.
So now the urchins and I are learning a whole new lifestyle. Come on, follow me on my journey. If you are on the same path I will be happy to share what I have learned. Maybe you can help me along. This is all about hitting the ground running.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
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