When I was pregnant I, like so many other mothers, hoped for smart kids. Maybe not Nobel Peace Prize winning smart, but not one that would be licking the windows, either. *If you have a child that is licking windows as a hobby, I am sorry for offending you. Also if you figure out how to get the dried up spit off of the glass, let me know - I have a dog that does it and it leaves the grossest goo behind.* So, imagine my self satisfied joy at having not one but 2 really bright little urchins. Now I wonder if I shouldn't have wished for average intelligence.
First of all, smart kids ask hard questions. For some reason normally during my first cup of coffee. I realized I was totally screwed when, on the way to Catholic School one morning, my then first grader came up with this gem - "HeyMom!?" (side note: while most female parents are known to their children as Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, or some other derivation starting with an M - I am known only as "HeyMom") Back to that car ride to school: "HeyMom!?". HeyMom replies:"Mmm". Urchin: "You know how you aren't supposed to have a baby until you are married?". HeyMom: "Mmm". Urchin "Well don't you think God was setting a REALLY bad example with Mary and Jesus?!?" HeyMom "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...."
And the questions don't get easier. Case in point recently my 6th grader, again on the way to school, decided to enlighten me as to what had kept her up thinking the night before: "HeyMom!?" "Mmm?" "Wouldn't it be amazing if LIGHT could carry LIFE?!?!". HeyMom wondering why she wasn't thinking about the cute boy across the street like a normal 6th grade girl... "Uhhh..." Urchin continues "See, if light could carry life, then as it passed through different areas on it's way to us we would be able to see what kind of life those areas might have - we could see if there was life anywhere near enough to us in space." HeyMom quietly thinking about old sci fi movies with crazy martians bent on destroying mankind... "huh... interesting." But the Urchin couldn't stop there - noooooo there had to be a question... "HeyMom? Why can't light carry life?" HeyMom wishing that she had had just a few more cocktails during pregnancy "I guess it is because light doesn't have mass?" Urchin "NEVER?". HeyMom "Well, I weigh the same in the dark as i do in the light, so I am guessing not ever." Urchin "I don't see how that can be true. If light has no mass then how can the gravitational force of a black hole effect light???" HeyMom "Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh...". Just so I sound like a better mother, I have googled the crap out of that, and apparently our top physicists can't decide on exactly why.
And the other problem with smart kids is that the schools recognize that they are smart and want to sign them up for all kinds of crap that you never even knew exists. Like Science and Math Team. WTH? When I was growing up "team" indicated sweat. Urchin practices 4 hours a week for Math & Science Team meets. OK, fine. Maybe one of those people can explain the light/mass/black hole thing. That would rock. Unfortunately what they DIDN'T tell us is that these meets require a responsible adult deliver the Urchin to the school to get on a bus at 6:00am on Saturday. I dutifully took her to the bus yet again today. Before I let her in the car I made her promise that she wouldn't ask any questions. It seems to work out better that way.
It is only scary before you jump!
SingleBrokeMom
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